The Move to Stoke Mandeville

"Stronger today than yesterday, but not as strong as tomorrow" (Lauren Staveley)

The best thing about Lauren being in Ashford was that all her friends and family who were unable to get to London were now able to go and see her and see for themselves just how well Lauren looked and how positive she was. A few of her friends were worried that it would be awkward but Lauren made it so easy for everyone visiting her which goes to show just what a strong individual she is. On Christmas Eve she had been told she had a place at Stoke Mandeville and she would be moving on the 3rd January. For her this was the best news she had heard since the accident because she could "get back to normal". For us, it was a relief that she had a place there so quickly because we had originally been advised it could be weeks or months before a bed in rehab became available. The sooner she got to Stoke Mandeville the sooner her recovery would truly begin.

I was due to go to Las Vegas on the 29th December for New Years so it meant I wouldn't be there to help Lauren get ready for her move. I had been unsure on whether I would still be going to Vegas considering the circumstances and when Lauren was in Kings I had said I wouldn't be going. How could I go and enjoy myself in Vegas when Lauren was lying in agony every day, her life changed forever. I just couldn't do it. Looking back now I only went because Mum & Dad said to go and so did Lauren's friends. I was worried that people would judge me for going and leaving her! Someone said to me though that the break would do me good and clear my head so when I got back to I would be mentally strong to help Lauren. I asked Lauren how she felt about me going to Vegas and if she didn't want me to go then I wouldn't. Her reply "you know I never wanted you to go in the first place" which is true, she had said it since I booked the holiday so I knew she didn't really mean it. Twice I went without her and I don't think she will ever forgive me for that!

Getting her things ready for Stoke Mandeville was hard. We had the list of what she would need, everything from toothpaste, to washing powder, clothes, socks, pjs... but it was difficult as to know where to start. I spent boxing day with Mum and Mark, not shopping in the sales, but buying Lauren's new stuff. We spent a fortune buying her everything she needed and it was difficult to know how many t-shirts would she need? What size would be best? Would just two shower gels be enough? It was the most stressful shopping trip I have ever done which wasn't helped by the "slow sale shoppers" getting in my way! Eventually we was done and Lauren had more toiletries than Superdrugs! I knew Lauren wouldn't appreciate Mum packing her stuff and as I wouldn't be there to do it after the 29th  I spent boxing day packing up all her stuff separating it into different vanity bags so she had everything from her make-up, her jewellery, her hair accessories, her clothes and photos. Trying to remember everything as well as 'homely touches' was hard but I think everything she needed was packed. I even labelled each bag showing exactly what was in the bag so it was easy for her to find everything (I know I really should get out more but it needed to be done)! I just remember thinking I should be packing for Las Vegas not shipping my sister of to a rehabilitation hospital.

The hardest part for me was not saying goodbye when I left her the day before my flight; it was knowing I wouldn't be there in the lead up to her moving. I wouldn't be there to get anything that might have been forgotten, to sort out a bill that might need paying or just be there for Lauren. That was the hardest. I just kept telling myself if I couldn't do it then Mum would or Dad would, or Abi, Sophie or one of her friends would do it. I was minutes away from not getting on the plane to Vegas as I panicked about leaving her as I just before boarding I thought what if she needs me, what if something happens and I'm away, what if I died in Vegas and I wasn't then going to be here to help Lauren (dramatic I know) but seriously these things go through your mind when something like this has happened to you. You stop thinking about yourself and you begin to look at the bigger picture and your life now becomes their life. Thankfully I survived Vegas, had a good of a time as possible considering the situation and the only time I was needed back in England was the day before Lauren moved to Stoke Mandeville as she was refusing to go because she didn't have a credit card and no-one knew where it was!

So that's it from me folks, its been emotional. Lauren moved to Stoke Mandeville on the 3rd January 2013 and was settled in St George's ward and that became her new home for the foreseeable future. Thank you for all taking the time to read this blog and please continue to read because it is now time for Lauren to take control of the blog and guide you through her inspirational 'learning to wheel" journey xxxx