The Move to Stoke Mandeville

"Stronger today than yesterday, but not as strong as tomorrow" (Lauren Staveley)

The best thing about Lauren being in Ashford was that all her friends and family who were unable to get to London were now able to go and see her and see for themselves just how well Lauren looked and how positive she was. A few of her friends were worried that it would be awkward but Lauren made it so easy for everyone visiting her which goes to show just what a strong individual she is. On Christmas Eve she had been told she had a place at Stoke Mandeville and she would be moving on the 3rd January. For her this was the best news she had heard since the accident because she could "get back to normal". For us, it was a relief that she had a place there so quickly because we had originally been advised it could be weeks or months before a bed in rehab became available. The sooner she got to Stoke Mandeville the sooner her recovery would truly begin.

I was due to go to Las Vegas on the 29th December for New Years so it meant I wouldn't be there to help Lauren get ready for her move. I had been unsure on whether I would still be going to Vegas considering the circumstances and when Lauren was in Kings I had said I wouldn't be going. How could I go and enjoy myself in Vegas when Lauren was lying in agony every day, her life changed forever. I just couldn't do it. Looking back now I only went because Mum & Dad said to go and so did Lauren's friends. I was worried that people would judge me for going and leaving her! Someone said to me though that the break would do me good and clear my head so when I got back to I would be mentally strong to help Lauren. I asked Lauren how she felt about me going to Vegas and if she didn't want me to go then I wouldn't. Her reply "you know I never wanted you to go in the first place" which is true, she had said it since I booked the holiday so I knew she didn't really mean it. Twice I went without her and I don't think she will ever forgive me for that!

Getting her things ready for Stoke Mandeville was hard. We had the list of what she would need, everything from toothpaste, to washing powder, clothes, socks, pjs... but it was difficult as to know where to start. I spent boxing day with Mum and Mark, not shopping in the sales, but buying Lauren's new stuff. We spent a fortune buying her everything she needed and it was difficult to know how many t-shirts would she need? What size would be best? Would just two shower gels be enough? It was the most stressful shopping trip I have ever done which wasn't helped by the "slow sale shoppers" getting in my way! Eventually we was done and Lauren had more toiletries than Superdrugs! I knew Lauren wouldn't appreciate Mum packing her stuff and as I wouldn't be there to do it after the 29th  I spent boxing day packing up all her stuff separating it into different vanity bags so she had everything from her make-up, her jewellery, her hair accessories, her clothes and photos. Trying to remember everything as well as 'homely touches' was hard but I think everything she needed was packed. I even labelled each bag showing exactly what was in the bag so it was easy for her to find everything (I know I really should get out more but it needed to be done)! I just remember thinking I should be packing for Las Vegas not shipping my sister of to a rehabilitation hospital.

The hardest part for me was not saying goodbye when I left her the day before my flight; it was knowing I wouldn't be there in the lead up to her moving. I wouldn't be there to get anything that might have been forgotten, to sort out a bill that might need paying or just be there for Lauren. That was the hardest. I just kept telling myself if I couldn't do it then Mum would or Dad would, or Abi, Sophie or one of her friends would do it. I was minutes away from not getting on the plane to Vegas as I panicked about leaving her as I just before boarding I thought what if she needs me, what if something happens and I'm away, what if I died in Vegas and I wasn't then going to be here to help Lauren (dramatic I know) but seriously these things go through your mind when something like this has happened to you. You stop thinking about yourself and you begin to look at the bigger picture and your life now becomes their life. Thankfully I survived Vegas, had a good of a time as possible considering the situation and the only time I was needed back in England was the day before Lauren moved to Stoke Mandeville as she was refusing to go because she didn't have a credit card and no-one knew where it was!

So that's it from me folks, its been emotional. Lauren moved to Stoke Mandeville on the 3rd January 2013 and was settled in St George's ward and that became her new home for the foreseeable future. Thank you for all taking the time to read this blog and please continue to read because it is now time for Lauren to take control of the blog and guide you through her inspirational 'learning to wheel" journey xxxx

Christmas 2012

"The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree- the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other"

Christmas is the time of year when you tend to reflect on the good times and the bad times over the previous year and appreciate what you have before enjoying a nice Christmas dinner with the family. However, it is also the hardest time of year should you have lost a family member or friend, have been struck by an illness or in our case, suffered a tragic accident with life-changing consequences.

I'd forgotten what it had felt like to smile and be happy until Lauren was moved back to WHH just in time for Christmas. It was the first time I'd felt happiness in weeks. As selfish as it sounds having Lauren in Ashford meant that instead of the 2hour car journey to London, it was 10mins up the motorway to see her Christmas Day. The thought of Lauren being alone on Christmas day was heart wrenching. I hated leaving her everyday anyway but Christmas Day was just different. Nobody wants to be alone then and thankfully Lauren wasn't. Christmas this year, however different it was, seemed to play out just like any other year. I woke up to my usual "Merry Christmas Leah" text from Lauren which was the best text received, went downstairs and opened presents with Dad, we had our traditional 'joint present'. One year Dad got a pair of socks and just split them so we had one each, this year it was shampoo for Lauren, conditioner for me.. except I opened both. Then we had breakfast, followed by a visit to Grandmas before I went to see Mum & Mark up Mark's mum with his family to play with Laurel's toys which this year was table football.. previous years have seen us launching toy rockets in the garden or playing on a pogo stick! Everything was normal except Lauren wasn't there and it was so hard acting normal and carrying on as best as you can. Then there was Christmas lunch with Mum, Mark, Abi, Sara-Jane & Tim. Again just a normal Christmas dinner but you couldn't help but notice the empty seat where Lauren was supposed to be. During dinner it got me thinking about past Christmas and how fun they used to be and a trip down memory lane was definitely required...

Christmas when we was children was always a big family affair, a proper traditional Christmas. Instead of stockings on the end of our beds we would have football socks, Lauren was always awake first and would come rushing to wake me up before rushing downstairs for presents. Bar the football socks this was how Christmas morning would play out every year until 2012. Lauren really is just like an excitable puppy when there is presents and food involved! We would then go round Grandmas for presents and then over to Nans for the rest of the day where we would have Christmas dinner and play games in the evening from charades to pictionary to trivial pursuit. One of the funniest times I remember is we was playing pictionary and Lauren had to draw a "Black Ball" so she attempted to draw the Black Bull Pub. I know this story bears no relevance to what has happened but it made me laugh when I just thought of it! There was also the 'annual' play that Lauren, Abi & I would do & record us using the camcorder for the evening entertainment, Grandad falling asleep in the chair, a usual Christmas day argument between the 'adults' before we would all crash & burn at Nans. Boxing day would be spent round Grandma's with Liam & Jack where we just ran wild playing hide & seek, 'crocodiles' over the kitchen floor & in recent years playing with those crazy fun balloons. These were the days when Christmas was just simply Christmas- food, fun and family.

I couldn't wait to get to the hospital once we had eaten to see Lauren. Dad and Sophie had been with her in the morning so she wasn't alone and then we arrived to see her in high spirits, complaining at her Christmas dinner. You may have realised that we like to take photos when the three of us our together so Lauren, Abi & I needed the annual Christmas photo. Naturally we all complained, Lauren's hair hadn't got any better, if it was possible it had gotten worse so we put a Santa's hat on her.. bless her! She may be complaining about the Santa hat now but back then she enjoyed wearing it. The rest of the afternoon just passed so quickly watching her open her presents and just generally chatting. It may not have been the Christmas day we had all planned but being together and having Lauren awake and conscious and in Ashford was the best present Santa could have brought :) In the evening her friend Steph came and kept her company until visiting ended. I've said it before in the blog and I will say it again- Lauren truly has some of the best friends you could possibly hope for. Steph spending it with her friend and not her own family just goes to show how much love and support Lauren has from her friends.

With Christmas day drawing to a close for another year I spent the evening not playing  silly games but spent it was Mum writing a list of what Lauren needed for when she got moved to her new home in Stoke Mandeville on the 3rd January 2013...

The Strength of Friendship & Coming Home for Christmas

"The greatest battle one has to face is whether to give up or carry on; to battle against one's own mind. Once this battle has been won you can move forward & open up doors to new opportunities, new strengths & new challenges" (Leah Staveley, 2013)
 

After Jack's quote on the last post I felt like I needed to come up with my own. Good huh?! With each day we saw Lauren get a little stronger, from sitting up a little bit more to cleaning her own teeth, it was only tiny steps which would lead to big leaps in her recovery. The more she was willing to do things for herself, the quicker her recovery would be and thankfully she saw it this way to.

Lauren not being able to walk again was still a taboo subject. How do you tell a 24 year old who had everything to live for that she was unable to walk again? It was a subject that none of us wanted to address. We all questioned whether or not Lauren was aware of the severity of her injuries, I believed she did know deep down she couldn't walk again. One day at the hospital she told Sophie she knew what her injuries were and said "a fractured spinal cord, fractured skull, no feeling from the waist down and a chipped tooth". She knew she couldn't move her legs or feel them and who knew what went through her mind when she was laying in dark every night. I was petrified that she would ask me about her legs but however selfish this sounds I was thankful she didn't. The only mention she of her legs was asking to make "sure they weren't touching", to make "sure they were straight" and to make "sure they were covered up". It was horrible; for some reason I was scared to touch her legs. I think I thought that how could I touch my sisters legs when she can no longer feel them herself. When Abi & I were at Kings Lauren had said she got out of bed today in the hoist seat but didn't like it because she was scared, she said she "could see her legs moving but couldn't feel them". I can't even begin to imagine what that must feel like except a very harrowing experience. It wasn't until she had been moved back to WHH that she, and the rest of us, began to broach the subject of walking.

When everyone first found out about Lauren, all her friends wanted to come and visit and show their support which was overwhelming. Lauren, however, didn't want anybody to see her how she was because she was scared of what people would think. I believed though it would do her good to see some friends just so she knew that no matter what they were there for her. I arranged with her old school friends- Lauren, Leanne, Brooke & Gemma- that if anyone was going to come and visit her that it would be them first and they couldn't wait to see her. Their visit was arranged for the 22nd December, two weeks after the accident. Lauren was worried about their visit and the day before had wanted me to cancel it but I said no I wasn't go. Its not like I forced the visit on her but I just knew that it would be good for her to see them and I was right (although Lauren will never admit it!). I said to her that day the sooner she starts to listen to me then sooner she will realise I am usually 99% right with what I say! Below are a few messages from the girls after they had seen Lauren...

"I remember I felt sick on the journey up & then just pure relief when I saw her. You hear someone is ok but sometimes you just need to see it for yourself. She was moaning about the sandwich guy not coming to ask her if she wanted anything anymore because she had asked him if the crisps were free! I loved that, it was just Lauren. The horrible bit was leaving her again knowing we wouldn't see her for a while..." (Brooke)

"Was really nervous to see her as she didn't know about not being able to walk & scared she would ask but once we arrived and found out Lauren was aware felt a little better because then we wasn't lying to her. I was also nervous about how she would be with us but as son as we started talking to her it was just the same Stav & everything was normal. She ranted about the nurses & other patients & everyone fussing. She kept saying how bad she looked but she's looked worse hungover before! Leaving her before Christmas made me sad as such a rubbish time of year but felt better knowing she was starting to accept her new life & that she wasn't letting it change her as a person & for her to know that we haven't changed towards her...(Lauren).

"I didn't know what to expect and was scared but also looking forward to seeing her. When I saw her she looked like Lauren apart from her crazy hair! To me she seemed ok considering what had happened. She was just like a hungover Lauren. She still had her sense of humour that I love about her and didn't make a fuss. She has done so well and I'm so proud of her. I love her to pieces. She really is an inspiration..." (Gemma).

"When we walked into the hospital it was a strange feeling. We saw Leah and she explained how Lauren had been and if she was rude then don't take it to heart. We know how Lauren can be blunt and that's why we love her so we always knew not to take it to heart. In my head I just kept thinking, oh she will be fine and will be back to her normal self. As time went on we realised that wasn't the case. I was worried to see Lauren as I didn't know what to expect. I was surprised as she looked like Lauren. I had a horrible fear she would look really poorly and sick. But apart from the Afro she had going on it was Lauren. It was so lovely to see her. She automatically made us laugh about the chanting women opposite her. That's when I think we all realised, phew we haven't lost her. She was so open and honest about it. We were worried to say anything or ask questions. But Lauren wanted to talk to us about it. We went away feeling so much better for seeing her. I think it was the fear of the unknown. I still can't get over how incredibly brave and positive she has been through all this. She truly is one of the bravest people I know. Although life is different now, she's still the bubbly Lauren that we all know and love. We will never let her be on her own and will love her no matter what. We were just so glad to see that she was still here and still herself. Leah was surprised she wasn't rude to us :) but I think not only did seeing Lauren help her, it helped us too. I hope we distracted her for a few hours. If not I'm sure the presents helped..." (Leanne)
 

The girls weren't the only ones that loved Lauren. Over the course of the week friends turned to facebook to express their love for Lauren. One night I went on facebook and my entire newsfeed was just filled with people changing their facebook pictures to ones of them and Lauren. It was really quite emotional the love and support she had and still has. People that I didn't even realise were close with Lauren changed their photos to show their support. Friends began to write on Lauren's wall. Just simple messages of "X X X" or "love you Stav" or "Thinking of you, be strong". Simple messages often have the biggest of meanings. I hadn't updated facebook since the accident, apart from changing my photo,(longest time ever without an update!) but the night the girls left the hospital I was lying in bed at Julie's listening to the most annoying 'tick tock tick tock' of Ben's clock when I decided to write a message to Lauren. What to write though? I wrote the first thing that came to mind, her favourite song, Rule The World.

That night as we left the hospital the Sister called Mum to say that they were looking at  moving Lauren back down to William Harvey because Kings had done all they could for Lauren now and until she got her place at either Stoke Mandeville or Stanmore, WHH could provide her with the right care. Stanmore had been to assess Lauren but she had not been too impressed with them saying that all they were doing was "selling" the hospital to her! It had been explained to her that whichever hospital had the bed first would be the one she goes to. Anyway, the Sister explained that all being well Lauren could be moved the next day (Sunday 23rd December) but it wouldn't be confirmed until that day and there was no time. Thankfully Mum & I were staying at Julie's so we was only a 40minute tube journey away should she go. Mum decided it was best not to tell Lauren of this possible move because if it all fell through Lauren would just get angry and upset. We also didn't tell anyone else because again it could potentially just be getting everyones hopes up for no reason. Thankfully on the Sunday morning we got the phone call to say she was being moved around lunch time.... yippeee!

Lauren was understandably excited about being moved back to WHH and so was I. It meant that on Christmas Day she would be as close to home as possible and just felt like her leaving Kings was progress in itself. All we had to do now was wait for the ambulance to arrive to take her back. She wanted McDonalds again so I did the power walk/ run down to McDonalds again (at least this time I was prepared for how far it actually was), Mum packed up all the cards people had sent up as well as all the other bits and pieces that turned up over the two weeks so they were all ready to go. In typical NHS style we got told she would be leaving at 12pm and then 2pm and then at 3:30pm I said to Mum I was going to leave to get home (Mum was allowed in the ambulance). I think she finally left around 6pm but at the end of the day she was on her way back home, well as close to it as possible!

Cousin Love, First Photos & I-Pad Joy

"Be strong, be brave and smile" (Jack Staveley, 2012)

I was struggling for a quote to start off this next post as it was hard to try to find the right one. Did I want a quote that was inspirational, one that was about strength or a life quote? I googled and I could not find 'the quote' that was fitting for this next section and then I opened the blue notebook that we used as a mini-diary in Kings and on the first page was the above message from Jack (our cousin) and I thought that was perfect. The blue book we had at Kings was just so whoever visited Lauren could just write down what had happened when they had been there or any messages for Lauren that we could look back on. Following the success of the operation we witnessed Lauren go from strength to strength and her interact more with visitors.

On the Monday following her operation (17th December) Dad & I travelled in convoy with Neil and Jack up to Kings so they could visit Lauren. Before we even set off for the journey I knew something comical was going to happen because to be fair this is Dad and Neil aka Dumb and Dumber. We was fine until we reached London and lost Neil at some traffic lights so we pulled over in a car park and waited for them. As they drove past you saw the look of realisation on Jacks face as they passed us! It was one of those moments when you can't help but laugh. Neil ended up going round the roundabout 5 times waiting for us to catch up. I felt guilty to be laughing as you do feel guilty to laugh when someone you love is not laughing but it reminded me of when we was younger and we all went on a family outing over to Margate and Dad thought it was funny to go round the roundabout loads of times and everyone else who was following us just went round and round as well. So back to Lauren, we arrived eventually with no more roundabout dramas and they got to see Lauren. Jack naturally got told of by the nurse for sitting on her bed (if anyone was going to cause trouble it would be him!) and Lauren remembered it had been his birthday not that long before the accident which was a good sign (especially as I was still concerned about her memory loss)!

Reading back through the blue book is quite funny. On the 18th December, Grandad and Sara-Jane visited and Grandad's note says "looking great, nice smile, must eat & drink more". Sara-Jane's message was more in depth, saying Lauren had physio today and they bent her knees up to get her legs moving but Lauren was in too much pain and she again "needs to eat & drink more". She also comments that she made Lauren laugh however hasn't stated how. Although I suspect that whatever happened wasn't very funny & Lauren probably laughed just to humour her! Lauren has since told Abi that one of the things she does remember from Kings is pretending to be asleep a lot of the time so she didn't have to speak to many people! Typical Lauren. The next day Lauren still wasn't eating and when Mum asked what she wanted she said a McDonalds. There was a McDonalds not too far from the hospital so I said to Lauren I would go down and get her one. Obviously like everything in life you think its closer than what it actually is and the quick two minutes down the road was more like 15minutes! I power walked down there and then ran pretty much the whole way back to the hospital- I must have looked like a fat kid who was too eager to eat their food- but I got back to the hospital with the food still warm. It was nice to see her eating food again, even if it was only a little bit but anything was better than nothing. She was fairly chatty after her big mac and was telling Mum that carole singers had come round the ward the day before singing hymns. She then gave us her rendition of "Oh come all ye faithful" which I'm sure will get her a stint on the X Factor once she's better! I don't know if it was the medication or she has found a new singing gene but over the next few days she continued to randomly start singing whether it be "Brown girl in the Ring" or "I want to be like you" from the Jungle Book with her monkey impression!

On the Thursday of that week it was Abi's birthday and off we went. At the time of the accident Abi was sunning herself in Mexico so was oblivious to what had happened. That post holiday euphoria soon ended when she was met at the airport. As children, Lauren, Abi and I were inseparable. We wasn't just cousin we were as close as sisters. As you grow up though you naturally grow apart and we wasn't as close as we had been. I asked Abi how she felt when she heard what had happened to Lauren and her response "broken, literally broken, hurt & just wanted to click her fingers and be at the hospital". It just makes you realise how important family is. We had our annual birthday grandchild photo as well for nan. Every birthday we have to get together and have a photo of the three of us and we asked Lauren if we could have one as it would make nan happy (although it made her cry!) and Lauren agreed. Our first photo which is a special one as to me as it documents the start of a new life, not just for Lauren but for everyone. The photo now takes pride of place on my shelf much to Lauren's disgust! Poor old Abi spent her birthday cleaning Lauren's nails and hands before painting them Christmas red! It got them talking about when Lauren had her operation on her ear when she was 15 (I think) and Abi stayed indoors with her the whole summer holidays, keeping her company, massaging her feet and painting her nails. Memories like that are just precious.

Lauren has always been, and always will be, someone who likes presents, whether it be a bag of cheesy doritos or a designer handbag so when I told her I had a present for her I saw the excitement in her eyes. Work had done a collection following the accident and wanted to get Lauren something to show everyone was sending their love to her and they decided to put the money towards an I-Pad. She has wanted one for ages so I knew she would be ecstatic to have one at last. It was wrapped and when she went to unwrap it she said "take a photo of me unwrapping it" a clear sign she was starting to get her personality back. When she saw it was an I-Pad she smiled the first real smile I had seen since the accident. Me and technology just do not mix but thankfully our geeky younger cousin Liam was there the same day I gave her the I-Pad. He was able to show her, and then me, how to use the I-pad and explain how to download films onto it. I was so scared of having to look after it and be in charge of downloading what she wanted on it incase I broke it! Thankfully though it survived its time with me and my first attempt at downloading went well with Harry Potter ready and waiting for when Lauren was able to watch it....

Bribery and Operations

 "With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts" (Eleanor Roosevelt) 
 

Lauren had finally began to accept the help from the doctors which was a huge step in her recovery and lifted a few worries off our minds. The next important milestone was to be the operation on her back to fix the break and give her the support she would need to be able to sit up. Her operation was scheduled for Friday 14th December- exactly one week after the accident. Before the operation Lauren had been moved of the HDU ward and into a little room with just her and another lady on it. This was perfect for her as she hated HDU and it was comforting to see her in a 'normal room'. She had a few visitors in this week, all who took it in turns to sit with her and try to get her to eat as she was still refusing to eat! The one thing she was eating was pots of jelly because it was easy for her to swallow so of course we all went jelly crazy and at one point there must have been near 20 pots of jelly on her nightstand!

In an attempt to get Lauren to eat and drink more I did what any good sister would do- and bribed her! Even in the state Lauren was in I knew the one way to get her to eat something and that was to promise her a pug puppy! She has wanted a pug for ages but Dad has always refused as we have two cats and it would be him who ends up looking after the pug. To get Lauren to eat I said to her "If you eat a little something each day Dad said you can have the pug puppy". And at that she began to eat and got as excited as she could given the pain she was in that she was finally going to get her pug! I went back and told Dad he needed to start saving for a pug and he got all in a flap and was getting ready to leave to find her one there and then! Honestly! But this is what Lauren needed to get on the mend. Some people questioned getting a pug and were worried about how Lauren would look after the dog given the situation but they are so small its not going to cause Lauren too much trouble and at the end of the day you would give your sister/ daughter anything they wanted to get them on the road to recovery.

So with the promise of a pug in the near future, which is going to be called 'Poppy the Pug' (interesting name), we saw Lauren growing a little bit stronger each day leading up to her operation. I became worried though about her memory. She couldn't remember what day it was, the accident or what was going on around her and the next day would forget what had happened the previous day. The doctors had confirmed that she had damage the part of your brain that controls your short-term memory thus there would be some memory loss but her long term memory should be fully intact. Still unsure I tested her memory. I asked her what she calls me and she knew (FYI its Lilly Poodles), it was our Nans, Dad and cousins birthday around that week so I asked if she knew whose birthdays it was and the dates which she could remember and then I played her songs on my I-pad to see if she knew the songs and if she could remember any meaning behind them, which again she did. I remember I played her "Nothing's gonna stop us now" by Starship and she whispered "This is Ange's song". This made me smile and I left her the ipad so she could listen to music when there was nobody there. To ensure her memory was still there I began taking the 'Take a Break' magazines and would do the crosswords at her bed and ask her for the answers. Thankfully she knew the answers to the clues and the ones she got wrong I knew wasn't due to memory loss but just her own intelligence!

I never went to the hospital the day before the operation and decided it was time I faced people I had been putting off seeing. Not that I didn't want to see people just I thought seeing people bring the reality of the situation home. Lauren's friend Kyria wanted to meet as well as Fiona so I decided the sooner I met friends the easier it would be. Walking through town to meet Fi was awful. It felt so weird to be in town with everyone around you carrying on like there isn't a care in the world. I felt like I was in a movie scene- you know when they block out all the sound and your just walking invisible through the crowd. I almost turned round and bailed on them but once I reached the cafe I was fine, although I did hide from a couple of people I saw and didn't want to talk too! Meeting the both was good. The first thing Fi said to me was "Message from Carash, your still going to Vegas & here's a hug from Kat" (I'd actually forgotten about Vegas until then!) Fi treated me to lunch as she said I had lost too much weight and brought me some pressies to cheer me up :) I then went and met Kyria in a different cafe to talk and she too said I had lost weight and I joked well at least its doing the diet some good for a change! Meeting them both and just talking about it actually helped and it was nice to know that we both had friends we could rely on.

Then it was Friday 14th (thank god it wasn't the 13th huh?) and operation time. She was taken down for the operation around 9am and the long wait began. I arrived at the hospital at 1pm and waited in the waiting room. Dad left the hospital as to be fair it didn't need all us sitting at the hospital. So we waited, and waited and waited. We had been told the operation could take around 6hours or longer if the surgeon decided to operate on her hip bones so she could twist easier in the chair. To keep us occupied we had crossword books and they were without doubt the hardest puzzles ever. I don't actually think any of us managed to finish one puzzle the whole time at Kings. Finally about 7pm the nurse came to tell Mum the operation was a success, Lauren was back on HDU and they were just making her comfortable.

The operation on her back was to effectively fix the spinal cord, as in fix the bone damage. Mum and Dad saw the x-ray of her back and they explained that her spinal cord had just broken apart. If you put two fingers on top of one another that represents your spinal cord and then move the fingers apart so there is a gap between the two that is what Lauren's spinal cord looked like. The surgeon built a little cage out of titanium around her spine, the cage was then screwed into her bone to keep it in place and he screwed the broken pieces of bone back together so her spine was aligned again. The screwing of the bones together meant that should would be able to sit straight and no longer be in pain from a broken back. The cage was to support her spine. Some people thought the operation would fix the fact she was unable to walk and it was hard to explain that a broken back does not necessarily mean you can't walk. Its the severing of the nerves that ultimately causes the paralysis. The operation meant that Lauren would be able to start sitting up as she had been flat on her back for a week and her recovery could really begin.