'You have to fight through the tough days, in order to earn the best days'.

Its been a good 7 months since I publicly shared my life on here, that doesn't mean its been an easy 7 months.

I have been fighting a pressure sore which very quickly turned ugly. I cant even remember when the sore first appeared, must of been around May/June 2014. I had a routine where I would go to work, finish work, go to the doctors, changed the dressing and redressed the wound. I had various course of antibiotics to help fight the infections after infection. This was life, every day for a good few months. Luckily I have lost my sense of smell so I never had the pleasure of smelling the wound. I could tell it was disgusting because of the faces the nurses would pull when they dressed the wound. I had to inform work, because the last thing I wanted was for someone to walk behind me and smell me. That would be even more humiliating than admitting I had a hole in my back.

 I thought I had done my stint in hospital already, how wrong I was after being admitted  on the 30/09/2014 to William Harvey Hospital due to an out of control pressure sore. It was just another ordinary day. I went to my doctors appointment, the wounds got dressed but I was told they wanted to admit me to hospital as they did not know what else they could do and it needed specialist to view and treatment. They issued me with a letter which was an emergency admission to hospital. We headed up to William Harvey like a whirlwind and arrived in A&E at 6pm. I had a run in almost straight away with a nurse who wanted to take blood. Tears and tantrums started and she learnt not to ask again. I left and went back to the waiting room. Hours past, finally called in and another man ( some surgeon on duty) again wanted to take blood. Tears started, I tried to explain that I had been told a blood test could be done whilst under. I was given a relaxation drug and eventually made it to the ward at gone 1 in the morning.

This hole on my back is exactly how it sounds, a hole. At its worst it was 9 cm deep, you could fit a fist and a half in the hole and it was black, dead rotting tissue. The operation I would be having was called a debridement operation, where the aim is to cut out all of the dead skin.

After the first operation I was given better and stronger antibiotics as the infection had now spread to my tailbone which would mean cutting it out in the next operation. These tablets where huge and looked like something you would give a horse. I had the second operation days later where they were able to cut out the infection and cut out all the dead skin. When I saw the wound next, I could have cried. It was pink, fleshy and healthy, not a piece of black sin in sight. Yes it was still a huge hole, but now at least the recovery could really begin.

I had to get rid of my kingsize bed, to make place for what I can only describe as a hospital bed. I needed a special mattress which was made with air pockets. It vibrated constantly. This was to help the wound heal. I had to change the cushion on my wheelchair as well to help. I am very particularly when it comes to my wheelchair, I do not like for the chair to be visible and like people to see me before they see the chair. This cushion is higher than my originally therefore I sit higher. I hated this, especially getting rid of the bed. I worked so hard to get where I had got, that I didn't want to bring a hospital bed into my home.
I have the district nurses come every other day to change the wound and I have a special dressing called a Vac Dressing. It basically is a machine that constantly sucks out all the bad stuff out of the wound, so it keeps the wound a healthy fleshy colour. The hole is now 4cm deep, which is pretty amazing as it was 9cm only a few weeks ago. Makes me wonder why my nurse did not refer me to hospital sooner as all they were doing was changing my dressing everyday but nothing was happening.

One particularly bad night I sent an email to Buckinghamshire hospital for it to be sent to my Spinal Consultant Mr Derry. The next day I had a phone call from his sectary offering me an appointment early December. During the appointment I showed Mr Derry the photo diary I have been keeping and he could not believe that it had got so bad and asked why I never came to him before. Truth was I didn't know I could go to him with something that wasn't directly related to spinal cord injury. He explained of procedure he could perform which would mean getting rid of the hole for good. He explained that during the procedure he would move some of the muscle from the buttox up to fill the cavity and then stretch the skin up to cover over.

Strangely the recovery sounds harder than the operation itself, spending the initial few weeks on another special bed, which is heated and loud and am not allowed to sit up at all during this time. I am not sure how I am going to cope not being allowed to sit up at all. I am worried how I am going to cope with my pain, especially with even more limited movement

Before this, the day before the operation I have to have a blood test to check everything is ok and because I will be having blood transfusions during the operation. This is a huge thing for me as I have made it perfectly clear I hate needles and have a huge phobia of injections/bloodtest of any sort. Mr Derry knows only too well what a difficult patient I am and he has warned me, he is concerned how I will find the recovery as he knows I can get very agitated. He has offered to give me the numbing cream they use and has also offered me to have gas and air during the procedure to help me get through the bloodtest. I go into Stoke on the 14th January and I am hoping and praying that this is the last of this hole and I can get my life back.